PLEASE READ the whole question before answering. I know I can’t change a lot of the things I dislike about how I look. I’m 6’3" and I don’t like being taller than everyone else – I’m not saying I look freakish, but people do notice. I hate the fact that I’m not a skinny or small-built guy…I have broad shoulders and it’s not uncommon to have someone ask if I played football or to refer to me as "big man" (usually bums who want money). I also started losing my hair at age 17 (I’m 31 now).
I’m aware that lots of guys want to be taller and that some women like bigger men; that doesn’t matter to me. I’ve always had my own opinions, and anyway, plenty of guys like fat girls, and you still see them dying to be thin. Also, I’m aware that some girls are actually into bald guys, but I can’t think of any bald icons that weren’t either oafish action heroes (Vin Diesel) or old men (Connery, Stewart). I have no desire to look like some gruff, no-nonsense cop or military man.
So, I don’t like these attributes and I don’t like being seen as the big protective or "teddy bear" type, but I’m stuck with it. How do I deal with it?
I’m an atheist, so please don’t tell me to "pray" on this one. Also, while looks aren’t everything, they are important, especially when dating, so please don’t tell me that only "shallow" people care about looks or about how "the right girl" won’t care what I look like. I’m also not going to keep "telling myself" that being big and bald is a great thing…it’s pretty hard to con yourself into believing something you know isn’t true (at least to me). Finally, I had several hair transplants…it gave me thin hair in front, so I’m basically forced to shave my head now.
Bree – The problem is, whenever a big bald guy feels bad about his looks, people tell him to "embrace it", which means be proud to be tall, broad shouldered, etc. The problem with that is 1) I don’t really see what’s so attractive about it, and 2) I don’t see any reason to embrace some dumb tough guy/protector persona in this day and age.
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